


i'm the light blinking at the end of the road

by colazitron



Series: 2016 December Holiday Fic Countdown [13]
Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: M/M, themes of depression/bipolar disorder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-13
Updated: 2016-12-13
Packaged: 2018-09-08 10:09:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8840503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/colazitron/pseuds/colazitron
Summary: ... blink back to let me know.

In this minute, Isak and Even lie together.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [EvensDramaticShenanigans](https://archiveofourown.org/users/EvensDramaticShenanigans/gifts).



> Disclaimer: I am in no way affiliated with the characters depicted herein or their creators. I made all of this up in my head, and I am only sharing it for entertainment purposes.
> 
> Wikipedia says that "It is said that to vividly celebrate Saint Lucy's Day will help one live the long winter days with enough light." so obviously I had to write this, because our babies need all the light they can get.

Isak honestly forgot about Santa Lucia until he got to school on Tuesday. It used to be his mother's and his favourite religious holiday of the year, so Isak’s usually still quite aware of the date around this time of year. He thinks he can be forgiven for it having slipped his mind this year. There's been rather a lot going on. There still _is_ rather a lot going on, what with Even sleeping the days away in Isak's bed, but he'd been a little bit more active last night, and even smiled at Isak occasionally, so Isak's in a good mood today. The last period of the day got cancelled, so he can go home sooner, and that's always something to be glad for, whether his boyfriend's waiting for him at home or not.

He's at the register in the shop a little bit down the street from the apartment when his phone dings with a message. There are a million reasons why someone could want to text him, but Isak's heart sinks anxiously whenever he hears the noise anyway. He can't get his phone out of his pocket before he doesn't put all of his stuff down on to the little conveyor belt, but the first thing he does then is take out his phone.

It's Noora.

It's about Even.

Of course it is.

Isaak texts back with one thumb – which is always a bit of a challenge, while paying with the other. When the cashier moves to help him pack his items in the paper bag, Isak smiles at her gratefully. Outside, he texts Sonja.

**To: Sonja**  
When do I call his parents/a hospital?

**From: Sonja**  
When he asks you to/when it gets too much for you. Has he said anything that's making you worry?

**To: Sonja**  
No, but he's pretty out of it. I don't want to hurt him cause I don't know what I'm doing.

**From: Sonja**  
As long you don't think he's a danger to himself, he's fine at yours. He needs reassurance that you're there for him, so avoid sending him home, if you can.

**To: Sonja**  
Thank you.

Climbing the stairs up to the flat, Isak wonders if he'd be able to be as gracious as Sonja if he were in her position. If one day Even leaves him for someone else--- but no. That's getting way too ahead of himself. What's important is right now, and right now Noora looks at him anxiously as he steps into the flat, quickly toeing his shoes off.

“I don't know what to do,” she says.

Isak smiles at her.

“It's okay,” he says, even though he doesn't really know what to do either.

He walks quickly back to his room and closes the door softly behind himself. There's no light on, and the sun's sinking ever lower outside, already far too low to peek out from behind the opposite row of houses. The room is bathed in the soft, grey-blue light of twilight, and Even's lying half underneath the covers of Isak's bed, staring up at the ceiling.

Isak puts down his backpack and shopping bag and makes his way over to the bed. He peels out of his jacket and drops that to the floor, and then pulls off his beanie to drop that as well. The scarf can wait.

“Hi, Even,” he says, softly, bracing a knee on the mattress next to Even before he sinks down.

Even doesn't say anything, but he blinks, very slowly, and when he opens his eyes again, they focus on Isak.

Isak settles more firmly on the bed, and reaches out a hand to brush gentle fingers over Even's features, and his hair back up away from his face. There's something unbearably fragile about Even like this. Still, Isak thought… he thought this would be harder. When Even ran out into the night and Sonja said those awful things to him and he read all those websites about bipolar disorder, he thought this would be… he's not sure. Not as quiet as it is, he supposes. With Even here it's obvious that the only thing Isak can, and should, do, is to love Even, and he'd be doing that anyway.

“Would you like anything?” he asks, keeping his voice only barely above a whisper.

Even shakes his head so slightly not even his hair makes any noise against the pillows.

“Would it be alright if I lit a few candles?” Isak asks then.

Even nods just as slightly.

“Alright,” Isak says and leans in to brush a soft kiss to Even's cheek. “I'll be right here.”

He gets up from the bed carefully, quietly walking over to his shopping bag and grabbing the bags of tea lights and few slightly bigger candles he grabbed at the store. He hadn't really paid much attention to what he was getting at the time. He pulls up a chair to safely tie the curtains out of the way, places a row of tea lights by each window, and then covers every remaining surface in the remainder of the candles, placing the bigger ones on the night stand. He glances back at Even before he starts lighting them all, and smiles when he sees that Even seems to be watching him, but only speaks once all the candles are lit, and he's climbed back onto the bed with Even.

“Can I lie with you?” he asks, and upon Even's nod lies down next to him, close, but not too close.

Even reaches a hand out from underneath the blanket and pulls at Isak's sweater, so he shuffles closer, until Even can bend his head and hide his face in Isak's chest. In turn, Isak lifts his arm and settles his hand in Even's hair, carding his fingers through it slowly.

“Why the candles?” Even asks after they've lain quietly for a while. His voice sounds croaky and rough with disuse, but Isak's just glad to hear it at all.

“My mother loves Santa Lucia, and I used to love lighting all the candles she'd set up all over the house with her. She used to say in return Lucia would light a candle inside us to get us through the winter,” Isak explains, fingers playing with Even's hair.

“That's nice,” Even says quietly a few moments later. “What do we do now?”

“Whatever you want,” Isak says. “Are you hungry?”

Even shrugs, or at least Isak thinks he does.

“Lie with me a little longer?”

Isak bends his head to press a kiss to Even's hair.

“Of course.”

**The End**

**Author's Note:**

> Come leave me prompts on [my tumblr](http://fille-lioncelle.tumblr.com/ask) if you want. :D


End file.
